It was a typical seaside café, small, with half-a-dozen
wooden tables and chairs. But it had an added dimension in the form of a
waitress who bore an uncanny resemblance to Mrs Overall.
As we found a table and started taking our coats off to sit
down, she came over. “Are you coming or going?” she asked. “We’ve just
arrived,” said Amy. “Oh. Well I’ll leave you for a minute. The menu’s on the
table.” She waved at it and shuffled off.
The menu was basic. We settled on a cream tea for two. Mrs
Overall didn’t seem to be coming back, so Amy went up to the counter to order.
The Cream Tea came with a pot of tea. “Could I have coffee instead of tea?” she
asked. “It comes with tea” was the baffled reply. “Ok.
We’ll have a cream tea for two but make the pot for one. And a mug of black
coffee on the side please,” said Amy. “Do you want a cream tea for one or for
two?” “A cream tea for two and a mug of black coffee.”
“That was painful,” said Amy when she returned to the table.
A few minutes later, Mrs Overall came across, still confused. “Did you want a
cream tea for one or two?”
“And we thought it was us” came a voice from the next table. “When she brought our tea over, she just brought the teapot. There were no cups. We had to ask for them”.
“Oh dear,” I laughed. “I wonder what we’ll get.” As they
left, they wished us luck. We were now the only people left in the café.
Mrs Overall came over carrying a large tray that seemed
almost too heavy for her. She placed it on the table and dispensed a large
teapot, a mug of black coffee, two knives individually wrapped in little
serviettes and two plates. On each was a tiny, warm scone, a small pot of solid
jam and melting squirty cream that was in danger of running off the plate.
“Could I have a cup please?” I asked. She looked confused.
“But you asked for a mug of coffee. And tea for two.” “Yes. But I’d like a cup
to drink the tea from please.” She scanned the table. “Oh” she said.
She wandered off and came back with a small cup missing its
saucer. Then the sugar arrived and was plonked on the table with a thud. It was
just as well neither of us needed it for we had no spoons.
The scone was quite nice and the tea drinkable. After a
while, Mrs Overall arrived with the bill and waited for us to find the money.
She looked at my jumper and asked “is that a cat on the front? Do you like cats?
My daughter’s got cats.” She rolled her eyes and tutted. “She’s got names for
them all.”
